In my last post 'not my will ....', I said I would share with you a very unexpected experience. However, I realized I had to write some more on my journey as a channel of spiritual healing energy . In doing so, I hope you would understand how healing worked through me, and why for days I did not know how to deal with what had happened.
People said we often turned within when we were vulnerable or when we had no one to turn to. In my case, that was exactly what happened. As things got tough during the restaurant years, my husband succumbed to the pressure of life. He was angry and bitter about life. He blocked out all the problems, and I was left to handle them. (Was it not part of the divine plan?!) Having no one to turn to, I prayed earnestly for help from the Divine. I also included others, world peace, and Mother Earth in my prayers.
At one point in those prayerful years, I began to form the circle of love. With my hands extended to the side of my body (palms upward), I invited the highest loving beings from the Divine (e.g. Buddhas, Quan Yin, Jesus Christ, Mother Mary, Mary the Magdalene), archangels and angels, spiritual loving brothers and sisters on earth to come in and join hands with me. I prayed for the underprivileged children, world peace, and whatever that came to my mind **. (** For examples, places that were in war or were going through natural disasters and people that had asked me to pray for them / their loved ones. If I felt someone was sad or not well, I prayed for him / her too.) Oftentimes, I found myself in a wonderful field of energy and both of my hands seemed to be connected to a powerful band of energy. Time flew as I prayed. I felt energized afterwards. The lack of sleep seemed to have little or no effect on me.
One day, my younger son taught me a few Tai Chi moves. I seemed to have a little bit of difficulty with a certain move that involved the movement of my right knee. A few days later, I practiced that particular move again. All of a sudden, something seemed to unlock. I felt tremendous energy as I moved my hands! For days afterwards, I was like a little girl who found so much fun in playing with energy.
When my son came home from campus during the weekend, I told him what happened. I was joyful, laughing, and happy. However, my son was annoyed of my mood! He said I was more interested in playing with the energy than learning Tai Chi. He did not want to teach me Tai Chi anymore.
Sometimes I felt that the three men (my husband and our sons) in my life were too serious. They did not see the simple joy I saw. They did not understand why I looked at the sun, the sky, the trees, the birds, or the people that walked by with a smile.
We sold the restaurant business in 2004. Though my guides and angels had told me through the angel reading in Dec. 2001 that I should go among people without delay, I did not know where to begin. At the time, I knew nothing about the Internet. It would be years before I subscribed to the Internet. Eventually, I took small steps out of my comfort zone. I went to a couple of small gatherings and attended a few Sunday services. (Re Part 2 - Words of Christ and the 4444 Incident ) Sometimes I found myself surged with energy. My hands were guided to move in a certain way or in a certain direction. The surging of energy simply happened, and I had not imagined powerful energy flowed into me at all. On a few occasions, people cried when they touched my hands or when I gave them a hug. To avoid attention, I often sat near the back.
On May 26, 2005, I was guided to join a circle in a holistic center. We met every Thursday morning from 10 to noon. Whenever new people walked in to join us, the teacher asked us to reintroduce ourselves. This happened a lot. Many that came were long time spiritual seekers, and some were professional light workers (e.g. psychics, mediums, hypnotherapist, healers, and musicians). They were at ease in saying who they were (e.g. " I am Sue. I am a psychic."), and shared a personal story or two. When it was my turn, I often said, "I am XXXXXX. I am simple." From the very beginning, some of my friends had told me I was a healer because they could see that in my energy field. I continued to introduce myself with those words for in many ways that was how I saw myself.
Two months later (July, 2005), the teacher, a long time professional psychic and spiritual teacher, told me that my spirit guide had been urging her to tell me to learn a healing art.
Though powerful energy poured into me occasionally when I sat among other people, I did not really know what went on. In my Dec. 2001 angel reading, I was told to sit among people without delay, teach more, write and share my wisdom. My angels and guides did not say anything about healing (***** see postscript). As a result, I had not thought of learning a healing modality. I did have a few past life dreams in which I was a spiritual teacher and a healer. However, I was a Chinese woman in this lifetime, and my English was not good. I could not envision myself working as a healer in the western culture. As a result, I did not follow the guidance. (Please read the postscript at the end of this post.)
In March, 2006, I had a second reading. (Re The Grand Prize (a $100 Gift Certificate) and the Second Reading ) Since young, I always had a strong desire to be of service. Before the reading, I had been contemplating as where to volunteer. Of course, my guides knew very well what was on my mind or my thought could have been influenced by them. During the reading, the psychic talked about where to volunteer. She also talked about my healing ability, but what she saw of me was too much for me to take in / accept. I chose to focus on volunteer work after the reading. The psychic was compassionate and understanding of my personality. She encouraged me to place my trust in God. Her encouragement and loving words helped me a lot on my spiritual journey. In the reading, she saw images of the life of a sister that was very different from my sister in life. Her words reminded me of A Mysterious Encounter, and caused me to think of the possibility of a twin sister again.
Near the end of 2006, I finally said to my guides and angels I was ready to learning a healing art. A month later, I went to hear the talk of a teacher in healing who came from North Carolina. There was a little story behind it. Please view my post We are all divine instruments from time to time .
Many people were there to hear the healer's talk. I raised my hand to ask a question, "Is there a prerequisite for your workshop?" She said, "I prefer those who have learned other healing arts (she mentioned a few), and I recommend a mini session with me before you come to the workshop." I thought, "I have not learned any healing. I do not meet the prerequisite." I was actually somewhat happy that I did not meet the prerequisite!
Later, a friend asked me to go outside of the Center to talk. At one point, I told my friend I wanted to book a mini psychic reading with the teacher of our circle. (It was the Psychic Night. There were many psychics and healers.) When I went back inside, the woman at the register table told me the teacher was fully booked for the night. She said the healer from North Carolina happened to have one time slot left on her schedule which was coming up in a few minutes. She asked if I wanted to have a mini healing session instead. (Do you believe in divine plan? I do!)
The energy that came through in the mini session was phenomenal. The teacher of healing said a huge divine being came to facilitate the session. For days afterward, I bathed in an incredible field of energy. I decided I would go to her workshop. During her presentation, the teacher of healing had said she would return to our state to hold a workshop in our center in early April. Since it would be in our center, I never thought of letting her know ahead of time that I wanted to go to her workshop.
On Feb. 22 (a 222 day!), 2007, a friend rushed in after the circle had started for quite some times. She lived far away from the center, and had not come for months. She said she came because the teacher of healing had mentioned my name twice during their phone conversation that I would be interested in coming to her workshop. Both of them (the teacher and the friend) did not know my phone number, and I did not have an email address. My friend had to come to tell me because the workshop would be held on an earlier date in a healing center in another city. I would have missed the workshop if the teacher had not asked the friend to come!
On March 24 & 25, 2007, I participated in a 2-day workshop. It was a wonderful, life transforming experience. While there, I understood why the teacher of healing chose to hold the workshop there. This was a healing center. The place was spacious and had different healing rooms. There were enough massage tables for us to practice healing and work on one another.
The following Thursday, I told my friends at the circle that I had gone to a healing workshop. Upon hearing the news, the teacher who was now also the owner of the Center asked me to be the on-site healer on Wednesdays. Immediately, I said I was not qualified! I never expected that! I knew other on-site healers were long time healers and had learned many modalities. The teacher said, "You need a place to start, don't you? Wednesday is yours if you are willing." All of my friends at the circle also urged me to accept. Reluctantly, I said, "yes."
When I was home, it bothered me because I had no experience in healing at all. A couple of my friends at the circle were Reiki masters. I decided to talk to the teacher again. I told her I was very grateful for the opportunity, however, I really did not know much about healing. I talked about our friends at the circle. I said, "How about I come to the Center for a few weeks, and then you choose somebody else? Or, our friends can take turns as the on-site healers." The teacher was adamant about her decision. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "You may think you are an ordinary woman, but you are not. You don't see what I see. As long as you want it, Wednesday is yours." I said, "Since I am only learning, I am not comfortable charging money for the session. Would it be alright if I don't charge any money." She said, "It is up to you."
I went to the Center every Wednesday until I moved to another state. To you, my teacher and friend, I am eternally grateful for your love and support. I am sorry I had not been a source of income for the Center during those months.
~~~~~~~~~ to be cont'd ~~~~~~~~~
P.S. As I re-read this post on July 15, 2019, I realized how easily I judged myself and set limitations instead of opening up to what could be. I also realized I might have made some progress in this aspect, but I had as yet let go of this pattern / old habit of thinking.
My friends, please look within to see if there is any area in your life that you have been too critical of yourself and set limitation as I did. I see the benefits of sharing our experiences for we are interconnected.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
***** I thought my guides and angels had not said anything about healing, but they did. When I inquired about my connection with a particular being, they showed the channel images that this being took me under her arm as her personal child yet not of a bloodline. Then they showed the channel an energetic template. The channel said she did not understand what they were showing her. Of course, I had no idea what all of these meant. Well, as my guide said, life was meant to be a mystery. Here and there we got a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Eight and a half years later, I woke up in the middle of the night. A book that I borrowed from the library happened to open to a certain page. As I read it, I finally understood my connection with that being, and the energetic template that had much to do with the healing that took place.
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